I AM LOVE
Scenario I. THE GOOD PLACE
I would say that I can’t believe I know you
But the truth is
I can
Where I struggle is
Accepting that I am worthy
Of such as gift
That I can live without a struggle
I have spent so long on the other side looking in
It is new territory to think
That
The dream I did not even know I had
May just have come true
I went to a horse clinic with the horse whisperer Buck Brannaman
Buck said something that I thought was so powerful
He asked the students to back up their horses
Stop them
And then lope them forward
He stopped them all performing this exercise
And explained that
They were making their horses move as if they were running away from something
But maybe they could encourage their horses to lope to
A peaceful place
Every single horse and rider shifted their energy
And loped forward with calm joy
I shall lope to peace my dear
I who has been running for so long
I shall board those airplanes, ride those trains, drive that car
Not to run away from anything
But to move to a good place
And I will meet you there
Scenario II.
You blew into town like a storm
You were in grad school and I was in grade school
And
I loved you before I was old enough to know what love was
For years I followed you
And you never noticed me.
My calls and emails went unnoticed.
And then one night in November
You saw me, finally
And you saw me as a man
And you liked what you saw
Wanted me
I have wanted you for so long
I know no other way
And yet
Our age difference is great
What the heart wants the eyes cannot bear
What the heart wants the mind cannot conceive
Scenario III.
I made excuses
Reigned myself in tight
So as not to step on anyone’s toes
I made myself small
And then I met you
And understood that the size of my insides were much larger than the circumference of my skin
You showed me how to liberate myself from the boundaries I put on myself
When I met you
That deep inner voice said
“This is the one”
I wanted to die in your arms
In December you got the call
Your next mission
Fulfillment of years of training
You were going to war
And now I go out
And ride camels
And walk with hawks
I ride horses across
And jump out of airplanes
I hike the big mountains by myself
Race cars across the desert
Kayak the jungle rivers
By myself
You will not return to me
But the part of me you changed lives on
