Double | MONROWE Magazine

It must have been the 3rd or 4th day
we slept next to each other in hotel beds
in different countries. You kept looking at your
phone and asked to come here. I was nervous
because I didn’t want you, but sometimes
I sentimentalize too much — the past of a body, like receipts
from restaurants or maps of cities we don’t live in. So I roll over
and place my arm around you like I mean it, but I don’t.
And while my limbs are still weightless and elsewhere,
and the ocean outside the window resurfaces all the time,
we pretend our motives are still the same
like on that New Year’s Eve before you left the party
and I looked everywhere for you in Paris.
I looked everywhere, afraid you were dead but
even more afraid that we’re both human
and parting.

Model BB Jean photographed in black and white by Lucas Cristino for MONROWE Magazine.